On the Way to Bianca's (15) Blog

Honesty of Emotion

"Something about the way you said it reminded me

that I'm not the same person I was.

And I'm not saying that in a bad way.

It's just that I keep adjusting to myself and my world to find it shifting again.

So I learn to love new faces.

Learn to live in other spaces.

And I keep trying to measure my life in intangibles.

A night not in sleep, but in conversations and connections.

A day not in hours, but in the walks I took

and the music I listened to.

Because that kind of stuff is infinitely more important than anything you can take from a classroom and anything you feel in the middle of a well-rested stretch.

It's about the honesty of emotion

and why that weighs so much to me.

So I keep lifting my head, finding a smile

and I keep on going even though I have circles under my eyes.

I keep trading words for sleep.

I keep breathing and loving and laughing and reading

and I guess maybe all of that makes up for what I lose in the sleep I don't get.

But mostly,

the more I try to make this life a balanceable equation,

the more I am reminded of its flux.

The more I try to quantify these experiences,

the more I am reminded of the limits of measurement.

And so it's constantly changing, and I am too.

Growing and giving pieces of my heart to everyone

and every place I meet.

Because everything else is just pretense."

Posted by Bianca at 4:01 AM