Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Steve Tucker Lesson

"Lying uses emotional energy."

This was me saying: "Society you always have ripped my dignity away as soon as I attain it. I've had enough. If you're threatening to totally cut off my balls, I'm fighting you tooth and nail for what's left. I dare you. F---ing bring it on."

During the period of time before I sent that message on Facebook to the first girl I mentioned, I realised how cold and empty I was inside and how isolated my disability had made me feel. I wasn't giving any warmth to others because I wouldn't let people get close enough to me. I thought I was a man and didn't need anybody to lean on. I had minimised my torment and pushed it down. This is why I never spoke about my disability.

What I learned from this is that if you're lacking something on the inside, you need to give it out to others. Even if it isn't returned in kind, it will make you feel happier inside.

I felt like I had to do what I did. Otherwise, skydiving would be forever tarnished and my mates would constantly refer back to Olivia and make me feel like shit.

I am a person that is different from the majority. I look at the world differently. I've had a different life with much adversity thrown in my path from a very young age. I listened to what other people told me I was worth. This shaped me into a very timid adult.

I have been going through a personal transformation the last three months. I learned that I was an unhappy person inside with many demons I had not come to terms with. Thus, I started a process to face these and kill them off.

This revolves around me living my life as honestly as I can. People are too unsure of themselves today; especially men. I've had enough of peer pressure and the media stereotypes brainwashing males into submission. I'm as loathing of it as you are.


These messages had controlled me for long enough so I threw a punch at it. Society is cold and most people have to always wear a mask. This disgusts me.

People want acceptance but they aren't doing anything to get it. Instead, they walk around staring at the ground, unsure of themselves. I injected some warmth back into the place.


My story is not about "Romeo & Juliet", it is about every kid being bullied in the school yard. It is about teenage kids committing suicide because they feel worthless.

It is about people dealing with disability; those who cannot communicate their suffering and the families that care for these people tirelessly.

It is about telling peer pressure to go f--- itself. It's childish behaviour and it impacts our adult lives in ways we don't see.

It is about gender stereotypes (both of them) and social conditioning. It is about mental health and getting help if needed.

It is about telling people what they mean to us while life is good. Not when a personal crisis hits. Tomorrow isn't a guarantee for any of us.

It is about standing up to society and illustrating that it has lost its way. We live in a culture of fear. Society had dimmed my spirit for long enough.

I didn't expect to get in the news, Sam, but the fact is I have. This has been my journey. I have dealt with all of these elements. I have endured this and come out the other side.

I'm telling my side to stop the bullshit and telling disadvantaged people: "You can win. I am proof of this. But you must have a go to give yourself a fighting chance at a happy life."

There are no shortcuts. Happiness is not handed to you. Capability is developed by simply having a go. If you're "outcome orientated" you won't do the things you really want. If you believe in something enough, go and get it in the right way.

Excerpts from Steve Tucker email to Sam de Brito & was published on Sam's blog.

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